I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
