even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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