i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
