I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
