VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
