can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
