think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize