i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
