you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We have started to decorate penises.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
