Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
