i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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