That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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