I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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