Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
