Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
