try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
