He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize