naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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