A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
