rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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