idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
