I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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