this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
