I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need moral support for this bender
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize