i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
