My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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