YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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