and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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