If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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