You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
