Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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