My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
