I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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