At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize