Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
