haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
