So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
