She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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