its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.