I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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