I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
