Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
