You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
