I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
