My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's like heaven, but drunker
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
