Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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