But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
