I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.