Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN