you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's like fucking tetris in this bed