I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro