In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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