I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
