gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I color on your dick again?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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