yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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