I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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