Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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