She announced her abortion via fbk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
