Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
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just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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