I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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