Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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