Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
false alarm. still invincible.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
