I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
