i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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