Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
