Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
