it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
