So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
