Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
