Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
