Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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