You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So many bounce houses so little time
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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