So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
